For some reason, every morning seems to be a struggle in this household (specifically “school days”). Without fail, I find myself in a perpetual battle with my little clones. It’s like a video game. Level 1 is the Wake Up battle. When I enter their room and start the wake-up ritual, I am usually rebuffed with:
I’m too tired… I hate baba… baba hates me… I don’t want to go to school… bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
It’s almost scripted.
I know I am not the only one who faces this opposition. The Holderness Family on youtube made a very exact/funny music video that depicts the struggle well:
You would think that a 6-year-old should be able to get up, go to the bathroom, and brush their teeth without assistance (since I’ve seen her do it before), or am I expecting too much? Then the ever monotonous “put on your pants… put ON your pants… PUT ON YOUR PANTS… ok when I come back you better have your pants on!” The response usually is “you have to heeeelp meeeee. I cant do it myseeeeelf… WAAAAH!” I know I know, they are just throwing a fit and trying to make the sap-of-dad succumb to their will, but when you are in a time crunch, there is no time to putz around.
Some days they like to do the exact opposite. VBear was actually out of bed. Teeth brushed, and bladder emptied. All she had to do was put on her pants. I give them to her, and tell her I will be back after I take the dog out. I come back and of course, she’s ready… to make me late for work. For some reason instead of putting her pants on, she was sitting with just the undies on. It was comical and infuriating at the same time. She was just sitting there still staring at her pants. She wasn’t laughing or giggling. Maybe she thought it would be funny. Maybe she needed to take her shirt off and socks off before putting the pants on. Till this day I never did get an explanation.
Now if this was a video game, Level 2 is getting out the door. You have to get not just one but 2 unruly hooligans to get their shoes on. This may seem to be an easy task, but for some reason they can make it very arduous and exasperating. De-Ja-Vu. I hear the words “I can’t do it by myself, You have to help meeee!” mixed in with the occasional cry. Now Jette and Viv both can put their own shoes on. I’ve seen them do it. To expedite departure, I end up helping.
The odd thing is ViviEtte always give me the wrong foot no matter what shoe I grab. It’s almost like they really think the curved insole belongs on the outside (but I don’t think they are even looking when I am helping.) Maybe they are just f’ing with me.
With one child, I still encountered these shenanigans, but with two the variable of the sibling c0nlfict must be factored in:
My beautiful girls in all their glory.
Now once I get them in the car, get to the daycare, we reach the final level. The drop-off. It’s a hit or miss if Jette will happily sit down to eat breakfast, or if she will be like an alien
face hugger, and cling on for dear life. Now if she chooses the latter, it’s another 5 minutes of prying her off. Don’t get me wrong I love my penguins. If I didn’t have to get to work, this would be less of an issue. It would still be an issue because these antics would drive anyone insane. That’s a whole other topic. I commend anyone to everyone that is a primary stay at home parent. It’s a thankless job that requires patience and mental fortitude. Every time I go through this I think to myself, I need to give my mom a hug for not only raising me and my brother but also watching my Penguins.
After beating the final level, you think you’ve won, but now its time to play another game… the one called work. It’s like an MMORPG. Then it restarts all over at 645am the next day.
I commend anyone to everyone that is a primary stay at home parent. It’s a thankless job that requires patience and mental fortitude. Every time I go through this I think to myself, I need to give my mom a hug for not only raising me and my brother but also watching my Penguins.