Blessings in disguise: I must be dreaming

Coming off work, I zipped on over to the future office to sign my contract. I can confidently say I will be joining a wonderful group of docs. After a whirlwind of a journey, I can most definitely say: “PHEW!”  The more I think back the more I realize how lucky I really am. Maybe there is a higher power that is looking out for me? Or maybe there is a cosmic set of checks and balances. Whatever it is, all I k now is I need to go through a manic phase and celebrate this good fortune. Buy a few Llamas, maybe a Koala bear and scooter.

I was feeling pretty good already, imagining my future seeing my own patients, having my OWN office. Yet I had this lingering sensation of dread… not knowing if I passed my boards. I’ve been counting down the days from when I took the test. We were informed 8 weeks from that day. As of this morning I had to wait ~2 more weeks. Right after the test, I felt horrible. I was for sure I bombed it. I did not feel prepared at all, and I definitely felt that the test was hard. For the next few days I had some difficulty sleeping, because I kept thinking to myself… CRAP CRAP crap crap CRAAAAP. I got over it for a little bit, but after recently watching Greys Anatomy *spoiler alert* seeing “Apes” fail her boads and see her job offers get pulled away got me thinking again. What if I failed, what if my future employer says… well since you didnt pass, we cant take you on… if I dont pass I will have to take it again, and pay… AGAIN! Suffice it to say I did not sleep well the past few days.  Heck I havent really worked out for the past 2 months (ever since March due to board studying and the post board aftermath feeling of crappiness).

On my way home, I was on the phone with MommyMD and were discussing my current sensation of triumph with signing my contract. I did also mention my reservations with whether I passed or failed the boards. As I arrived home, I went to check the mail. MommyMD still on the phone, I caught my eye on an envelop addressed to me marked Confidential. THen I notice who the sender was… IT IS HERE!? Could it be? Early?  With bated breath, I hesitantly open the epistle… I cant bear to read it. I try to look at it from the back… oh what the hell. I read it. I read it 2-3 times to make sure I read it right… YOU PASSED!. what? WHAT? I PASSED!

YES! I PASSED! I yelled out a screech of victory and joy (as MommyMD was still on the phone). I still couldnt believe it. I had MommyMD read it just to make sure I am not hallucinating.

I still fear I will wake up and find this to have been a dream. nope. not a dream. Cant get better than this.

ViviBear is walking

Job is secured

Boards are passed.

now what… nothing to hold me back…. the ship is leaving the dock.

p.s. thank you to all that truly believed all would work out. :-)